Monday, September 15, 2008
Of traffic lights and cronies
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/09/13/AR2008091302596.html?sub=AR
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Jesus' General
McCain Names Cabinet Members
Capitalizing on the many accolades he received for tapping Sarah Palin as his VP pick, John McCain announced his choices to fill three important cabinet positions, today.
Earl J. Poteet has nearly 20 years of experience handling negotiations in border town bars. Using a wide array of diplomatic skills, including slowly speaking English in a loud voice, pounding on the bar while screaming "I'm an American, damn it!" and flicking his tongue in and out rapidly between his lips while winking, Mr. Poteet has successfully negotiated thousands of bar tab disputes and quasi-romantic rendezvous. More importantly, Mr. Poteet knows there is a time for talk and a time for action. He's not afraid to gut an adversary with a broken tequila bottle when force is required. That's why John McCain chose him to represent American interests around the world.
John McCain wanted a Secretary of Defense who's a fighter. That's why he chose Chastity Screed to head the Pentagon. It's a gutsy choice given the fact she's never served in the military, but she brings something far more more important than experience, evangelical approval. Mrs. Screed became the Heartland's Hero when she successfully lead an assault against Spencer's Gifts down at the mall. It wasn't easy. Many laughed at her when she tried to describe why she had targeted that particular shop. "They sell little knitted sock things to keep a man's little baby-maker warm," she declared, "and they don't even use starch!" But Screed persevered, eventually mobilizing dozens of others to assist her in her cause. Now, thanks to her efforts, Spencer's Gifts requires its customers to duck under the hand of a Jesus cut-out figure emblazoned with the words "You must be this tall to buy adult novelty items" before allowing them to shop in the adult section. John McCain has no doubts she'll do the same for Iraq, Afghanistan, Russia, and Iran.
Malcolm Witherspoon knows how to effectively spend taxpayers money. As a contractor in Iraq, he personally oversaw the $6 billion dollar effort to construct a school for a tiny village in Anbar Province. "It's a great school," Sean Hannity once remarked "It just might be the finest school without plumbing and a roof you'll find anywhere in the world." Now an oil company lobbyist, Witherspoon is a driving force for the oil industry's Drill Here, Cap Now, Profit More, offshore drilling initiative. Sen. McCain is very impressed with Witherspoon's creative use of the homeless to launder millions of dollars of oil industry campaign contributions. "It's the kind of entrepreneurial spirit that's made our party great," notes the nominee, "It's why I've picked him to serve as the Treasury Secretary."
Monday, September 1, 2008
I love this guy (warning explicit language)
9/01/2008
Gustav Doesn't Give a Fuck About Your Anniversaries, Conventions, or Holidays:The levees are being overtopped in a Category 2 storm. That fact alone bespeaks decades of criminality, apathy, ignorance, and greed that falls on all parties, all politicians, all officials. Remember: last time the levees failed because they broke. Now, the levees aren't even good enough if they do their actual, intended jobs. And don't listen to anyone say whether or not everything's fine until they show us. There's barges and ships loose that might damage the walls. Again.
All but one member of the Rude Family have evacuated across the continent, as their homes are in the path of the eye of Hurricane Gustav. The Rude Brother is staying behind, figuring if a little bitch like Shepard Smith can do it, so can he. The Rude Pundit said he'll look forward to seeing aerial footage of his brother waving on a roof. No, it probably won't be as bad as Katrina, but that's like saying getting kicked in the balls hurts less in the long run than getting punched in the nose.
With that in mind, there's shit that doesn't matter. Shit that'll wait until tomorrow. Here's a list of things the Rude Pundit doesn't give a fuck about today:
1. The repulsive cynicism of the selection of the obviously insane, stupid, and corrupt Sarah Palin as John McCain's running mate, proof positive that Karl Rove is now running the show.
2. The Republicans supposedly showing empathy with Louisiana by canceling events at the convention and changing all the corporate-sponsored parties to "fundraisers," which, one presumes, means instead of calling something the "Exxon/Eli Lilly Drunken Lobbyfest with Whores," it'll be the "Exxon/Eli Lilly Drunken Fundraiser with Whores." The road goes on forever, but the party never ends. (Fun fact: The National Review was going to sponsor a Mardi Gras-themed event on the anniversary of Katrina. God, while mouth raping the soul of William F. Buckley, decided that was a stupid idea.)
3. John McCain being all mavericky by exploiting the tragedy to distract from his frightening incompetence.
4. George Bush and New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin each trying to top each other for preemptive ass-covering rhetoric.
5. Riding around Minneapolis on Labor Day and being able to go to every store or restaurant you could go to any day of the week. Workers of the world, unite. You have nothing to lose but your time-and-a-half.
The Rude Pundit's up here in the Twin Cities, where the Mississippi River starts to narrow. He's heading out to the unabashed and quite useless anarchy of the protests. The police are out in vicious force, not distinguishing between knuckleheads and nuns. He's got the ACLU's phone number in his pocket, just in case.
Starting tomorrow, reports from the site, including audio. For now, in honor of Gustav, the Rude Pundit's gonna go punch a Swede.
I'll try to post more of his stuff, but here is the link http://rudepundit.blogspot.com/
Dats notcho baby!
Although not due until May 18th, the governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin, gave birth to her fifth child today, Friday, April 18th, at 6:30 am. Trig Paxson Van Palin weighed in at 6 lbs, 2 oz when he was born at Mat-Su Regional Medical Center. Trig is a Norse word meaning "true" and "brave victory." The name is in honor of his great uncle, a Bristol Bay fisherman, while the name Paxson comes from the well-known snowmobiling area in Alaska, which Sarah and husband Todd Palin love.
Click below for the rest of the post and a photo of Trig.
Sarah, 44, had her water unexpectedly break (just a slow leak of amniotic fluid, she shared) while attending an energy conference in Texas, but checked in with her doctor, was able to stay, deliver a 30 minute speech, and then get on a plane to return to her home state in time for the delivery (which ended up needing to be induced) early this morning.
I am not a glutton for pain and punishment. I would have never wanted to travel had I been fully engaged in labor. After four kids I knew what labor felt like, and I wasn't in labor.
Sarah said that while she did not tell the pilot or flight attendants that she was 36 weeks along, she did not hide her condition either
The family initially released a statement saying that Trig has "special challenges," but did not specify what they are. However, on Monday, April 21st, they said the baby has Down Syndrome. Sarah and Todd's statement reads,
Trig is beautiful and already adored by us. We knew through early testing he would face special challenges, and we feel privileged that God would entrust us with this gift and allow us unspeakable joy as he entered our lives. We have faith that every baby is created for good purpose and has potential to make this world a better place. We are truly blessed.
On Monday, Sarah shared that she "initially felt sad" when hearing the diagnosis.
When we first heard, it was kind of confusing. It was very, very challenging. [But now,] it just feels like he fits perfectly. He is supposed to be here with us.
The pregnancy was announced in March. Trig joins siblings Track, 18, Bristol, 17, Willow, 13, and Piper, 7. Sarah said she does not plan to take a maternity leave, but is breastfeeding, will bring her son to work with her, and plans to take some days of for his pediatrician appointments
Hmmmmmmm. Sound fishy? A woman's water breaks, she then delivers a speech that takes a half an hour, hops on a plane for what is at least an eight hour flight, lands in Alaska, drives 50 miles to her hometown of Wasilla and gives birth. Also of interest is that Bristol missed the last 5 months of school with mononucleosis. This is their story and they're sticking to it. Photos above, I report, you decide.
P.S.
Like most Democrats, I could care less what Sarah's children do. This is one of the things that separates us from Republicans. The purpose of this entry is to point out the hypocrisy of those on the right. Moreover, this lady should have been vetted. She is not seeking an entry level banking job, she is running for our second highest office, and character matters.




